Confessions

I think a lot about things.  Lately I think a lot about pregnancy related stuff (who would've guessed?), but I think about other things, too.  Mostly when I post about my thoughts I try to stick to the more normal things and stuff people expect you to talk about.  But, tonight I feel the need to put out there the weird stuff and the stuff I feel weird about.  Enjoy.

• I'm finally at the point where I don't have to remind myself that I'm pregnant all the time.  I guess I've told myself that I am often enough since October that it's finally sunk in.  It's been about a week since I thought, "Oh, yeah!  I'm pregnant."  It only took 4 1/2 months.
• I'm starting to feel the baby move.  Not very much yet.  More in the last day or two, but still not a lot.  I have to say, though, that the idea of another being inside me moving around and poking me from the inside kinda freaks me out.  Does anyone else find it slightly freaky?  I've never heard anyone else talk about that.  So, either it's one of those things that everyone thinks at some point and just won't admit it, or I'm in the minority and I'm the weirdo.  Both seem equally viable to me.
• In my last post I said that I was excited about being able to do fun things with my child.  This is true.  I'm also a little sad that it won't just be Michael and me anymore.  We've been just us for 8 years.  Part of it's the fear of change and the unknown.  But with any major change, even good ones, there's always a part of me that's sad about leaving behind what was before.  This is no different.  I'm probably not supposed to say that, though.
• Even though I tell people I'm excited, I haven't really been super excited yet.  As I said, I kept having to remind myself about the pregnancy, plus, with the exhaustion, it was all I could do just to get through the day and get the bare minimum done.  Excitement?  Who has energy for that?  That's not to say there haven't been cool things.  Getting to hear the baby's heartbeat is pretty cool.  Part of it, too, is that I don't get excited in the way other people do very often or very easily.  And major changes always seem really unreal to me until they've actually happened.  Even when I'm preparing for them, it seems like a weird dream.  It takes a bit for the new way of life to sink in and not seem so unreal anymore.  Maybe I'll be more excited in a month or so or when I actually start getting things ready for the baby.
• I don't plan on finding out the gender of my baby until it's born.  I also don't plan on having an ultrasound.  ACOG doesn't recommend ultrasounds unless medically necessary.  As long as things continue in the normal, non-concerning way that they have been, I don't feel an ultrasound is indicated.  Determining the gender is not a medical necessity.  Plus, surprises are fun.  Feel free to guess the gender.  Guessing is half the fun in my opinion.  And, in this case, you'll have a 50/50 chance of being right.  Personally, I think it's a girl.  Or a boy.
• I break "pregnancy rules."  I go tanning.  I lay on my back more than just at my prenatal appointments.  I find it uncomfortable after a bit, though, so I don't do it for very long.  I take a regular multivitamin not a specific prenatal (my regular multivitamin meets the recommendation for prenatals, except it's a bit lower in iron, so I take an iron supplement, too.)  I drink raw milk.  I've been doing so for almost two years and suffered no ill effects, so I'm not worried about it.  I occasionally have steak and I don't cook it well-done.  I don't eat deli meat from the grocery store, though.  But, I generally don't eat deli meat anyway whether I'm pregnant or not.  Except the occasional Jimmy John's sandwich.  
• I'm planning on a home birth.  I know many people freak out about home birth.  I have done a lot of reading and research on the subject and looked at both sides of the issue.  I did most of this reading when we were first talking about having kids in the near future.  I have a midwife that has a high success rate and a low incidence of problems.  I feel confident that she will recommend a hospital birth if she feels it's necessary, and I trust that she's neither overly alarmist nor overly cavalier in her attitude toward labor, birth, and the safety of the mothers and babies in her care.  She has lots of experience in hospitals and at home.  The woman knows her stuff.

Eleven

My friend Katrina tagged me in her post, so here goes.

First Things First… The Rules:

• You must post the rules.
• Post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post.
• Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
• Tag eleven people and link them on your post
• Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Eleven Fun Facts:

 

1. I'm learning to sew.  I got a sewing machine for Christmas and I've been playing with it ever since.  I've wanted to learn to sew for a while, and since I'm now pregnant I figured I better get started.  In my world, moms should know how to sew.  

2. My first instrument was the piano.  I started when I was 5 at the beginning of kindergarten.  I decided I wanted to play the piano the Christmas prior to that when we were at my grandparents' house and most of my cousins could play the piano.  I wanted to play, too.  So, several months later, my parents procured a piano and found me a teacher.  Thus began my musical career. 

3. I make my own yogurt.

4. I often wish I had the ability to teleport.  I don't think I'd like to be able to read people's minds, but teleportation would be an extremely handy skill.  I used to think the Star Trek method of beaming people would be nice, but after reading The Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy (in 5 books), I'm not so sure that would be such a nice way to travel after all. 

5. I like seeing new places, but I don't really like the actual traveling part.  Whether it's flying or driving, it's just not that much fun.  With flying you have all the airport security silliness and you're at the mercy of the airline for the entire time.  With driving it takes longer and I can't read because I get carsick.  I suppose that's why I fantasize about #4.

6. I make my own soap and lotion bars.  I'm trying to find a good shampoo bar recipe, but I haven't found one yet.

7. I'm a hermit.  I don't leave my property very often.  I go outside pretty much everyday because I have animals to take care of, but I can go for days without getting in a car and going anywhere.  If my students didn't come to my house, I'd also go for long periods of time without seeing anyone except Michael.  Probably once the baby comes that will happen, since I will be taking time off from teaching.

8. I'm excited about having a kid to do all the things that are fun to do, but not so much fun as a childless adult.  Like going to the pumpkin patch, trick-or-treating, sledding, building forts, and so many other things.  It's difficult for me to imagine what life will really be like, and it's strange to think it won't just be Michael and me in a few more months, but I think there will be a lot of fun stuff.  I know it's not all rainbows and unicorns, but I'm excited about the fun stuff to come.

9. I still like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  And I still eat them sometimes.

10. My favorite part about college was finding people who got me.  I never tried to be anyone other than who I am, but I didn't really fit in very well growing up.  I had some friends, but even they didn't always really get my sense of humor a lot of the time.  It was nice to find people who I could be goofy and quirky with and they didn't give me weird looks because they were the same way. 

11. I'm a voracious reader.  Sometimes I go through spells where I don't read very much, but then a switch flips somewhere and I can't stop reading.  I'll easily read entire novels in a day or two (of the 300-500 page variety) and just keep going until I've fulfilled my need for books.  I'm in the middle of one such spell right now.  Though it has calmed down the last couple of days.  I'm currently finishing Mostly Harmless by Douglas Adams.  It's the 5th book in the aforementioned Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy.  And, for the record, if you've seen the movie and haven't read the books, you should read the books, they're way better. 

 

Here are the questions Katrina posted for me:

1. If you won a gift certificate good for a year’s service from either a maid or a private chef, which one would you choose?  I would get a maid.  I hate cleaning.  I can deal with cooking, but cleaning is awful.  What would be better though is if I got both, even if it were only for 6 months.

2. Name something you’ve done that was totally out of character for you. 

3. Imagine we discovered a life-sustaining planet and a way to get there in a five year space journey. If invited to go, would you be willing to leave behind your life on Earth to explore a new world? (Your family can go with you, of course.)  It depends, really.  What's the condition of the Earth at the time of discovery?  I'd say probably not.  Mostly because I'm a hermit and don't like to go anywhere.  And 5 years is a long time to travel to get somewhere.

4. If someone gave you $500 on the condition that you somehow use it to help someone in need, how would you spend it?  I'd probably sit on it for quite a while looking for someone specific to help.  While I think charitable organizations are great and serve a definite need, I would want to find a person or family that I could specifically help.

5. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?  The Ninth Gate.  It started out interesting and about halfway through it starts going downhill fast.

6. If you lost your U.S. citizenship and had to relocate permanently to another country, where would you go? Why?  I've actually thought about where I would go if for some reason we felt the need to leave the country.  The United Kingdom is appealing because they speak English and I've always wanted to spend a lot of time there.  Chile is an option because I've actually spent a fair amount of time there and would be happy to go back.  If we had to flee or leave quickly, we'd probably go to Canada first, then decide on where we really wanted to be after that.

7. What’s your guilty pleasure?  The book equivalent to chick flicks.  They're like candy for your brain.

8. Who would win in a street fight between the Black Eyed Peas and the Fugees?  Umm...your mom?  I have no idea. 

9. If you could go back in time and change just ONE decision that you’ve made, what would it be? (I’m not talking about mistakes, but about a time you had to choose between two or more paths.)  I honestly can't think of anything.  I'm pretty happy with my life and where it's going.

10. What superpower would you like to have?  Teleportation.

11. Do you have a weird body quirk? What is it?  I have a birthmark on my right knee.  It's actually darker now than it was when I was little.  When I was a kid and played in the dirt a lot, my mom used to try to scrub it off in the bath because it was light enough to pass for dirt.  It never did come off.

Since the very few people that I might tag have already been tagged, I will not participate in that aspect of this.  You're welcome.


 

 

Pregnancy Update

So, I'm now 17 weeks and 3 days.  I have felt the baby move twice now.  It's certainly not a regular occurrence at this point.  In a few more weeks I'm sure it will be. 

I'm starting to have more energy again.  I've made it through several days in a row without taking a nap.  In fact, I haven't taken a nap since last Thursday.  I think that's the longest I've gone without a nap this pregnancy.  I thought about taking one today, but decided I felt tired from staring at a computer screen for too long and decided to go for a walk instead.  It wasn't a very long walk (just around the back of our property), but that's the first time since October that the thought of doing something requiring physical activity didn't make me want to curl under a blanket and go to sleep.  Not only did I not want to crawl into bed and go to sleep at the mere thought of physical activity, but I actually got all bundled up and went out.  And I felt better for having done it.  I enjoy walking in the snow and I haven't really gotten to do it this winter.  Since we have snow now and I have a bit more energy, it looks like we'll even get to try out our new snowshoes this weekend.

It really helps that we've discovered the culprit for my extreme, bone deep weariness.  My blood test results came back and my midwife called me last week to let me know what they said.  Most things were pretty normal, but my Vitamin D level was at 13.  For some perspective, people develop rickets at 10 or below.  The bare minimum for recommended Vitamin D levels is 30 and 50-70 is considered optimal.  I was at 13.  So, I started taking 4,000IU of Vitamin D supplements daily.  And I've started going to a tanning salon. 

I know, I know.  Before everyone freaks out about me cooking my baby or how tanning gives you cancer, let me say that I put a lot of thought and research into this and my midwife is totally on board, as is my husband.  Tanning beds will not cook a person or their unborn baby.  The salon I'm going to uses electronic beds (rather than the older style magnetic beds).  The electronic beds don't get terribly hot, so the risk of overheating (which, as far as I can tell, is the only real concern) is minimal.  So far, they're just pleasantly warm.  Plus, if I feel too hot, I can turn off the bed and get out, simple as that. The electronic beds have a ratio of UVA/UVB light that more closely approximates natural sunlight (the magnetic ones tend to have a higher UVA output.)  UVB light is what causes your skin to produce Vitamin D.  UVA light is what oxidizes your skin pigment and potentially causes damage.  Having a balanced ratio is important.  Also, sun exposure is not what causes skin cancer.  Overexposure, i.e. sunburn, eventually can cause skin cancer.  The more frequent and the worse the burns, the greater your chances of developing skin cancer.  In a good tanning salon, they will set your tanning times so that you don't risk getting burned and will slowly work you up to optimal exposure levels for your skin type, Vitamin D production, and tanning preferences.  I'm not so much worried about the actual tan (I don't really change colors anyway), but UVB exposure produces far more Vitamin D than a supplement or food source can possibly supply, and it's in a form that the body uses much more readily than that of an oral supplement.  Altogether, the supplements and the tanning, are making me feel much more like myself.  I'm not completely back to my normal feeling self, but I'm well on my way.  And for that, I'm quite thankful. 

To My Unborn Child

Dear Baby,

I know you like our midnight snacks.  I'm not entirely opposed to them myself, especially when they include hot chocolate (which is fairly frequently).  However, this whole keeping me up all night thing has got to stop.  I can't even feel you yet and you're already wreaking havoc with my sleep schedule.  That's just not fair.  And sometimes you just mess with me.  Like tonight.  You let me fall asleep at a reasonable hour (9:00 pm or so), but then decided I needed to get up at 11:30 pm.  It's now 3:45 am and I'm still awake.  That's just not right.  We're going back to bed now, and we'll stay there for quite a while, okay?  We have things to do tomorrow (well, today, I suppose) and Mama needs more than two hours of sleep for that to happen.  And let's try not to repeat this tomorrow night.  I'm okay with staying up until midnight or a bit later to give you your midnight snack (you seem very insistent on that point), but I'd like to go to bed by 1:00 so we can get our beauty rest. 

Love,

Mom