(Im)Patience

Michael is out of town this week for work.  This is the first time he's been away since our daughter was born, the first time in several years he's been away at all, and the longest we've been apart since we were married. When he worked for the state he occasionally went to Boise, but that was just for a couple days.  He left early Sunday morning and won't be back until Saturday evening. Hopefully he'll be back home before Kaylin needs to go to bed, but, depending on delays and such, it could go either way.  I realize that I don't have a lot of room to complain.  Many people are, or function as, single parents due to employment situations, military deployments, divorce, and whatnot.  They go for weeks, months, years on end without steady backup.  But, I'm used to having an extra pair of hands, another lap for the toddler to climb on, another set of eyes to watch her and make sure she doesn't get into anything she shouldn't, someone to talk to so it's less boring around here.  By nighttime my patience has worn pretty thin.  Sleep has never come particularly easily to my daughter.  She is her mother's daughter, after all.  She still needs to be nursed and/or rocked to sleep.  Usually lying down with her and nursing her does the trick.  The last couple days, not so much.  And I get rather unreasonably frustrated that she's not just falling asleep in 5 minutes or less, as I would so dearly love. She nurses for a while, then she squirms and rolls over and climbs on me and flails and kicks and I start to get angry.  This happens sometimes in general, and I do find it frustrating normally.  But the level of frustration is elevated this week while I'm on my own. Not because Michael helps with bed time, because he doesn't. That sounds terrible, but she finds Daddy far too exciting and won't settle down for him at all. The only way he can get her to sleep is to drive her around in the car, and then he just has to drive around until she wakes up, or I have to make the transfer to the bed.  She won't stay asleep for him.  The only other option for him to get her to sleep is to wait until she's so utterly exhausted that she is incapable of staying awake any longer.  Then she'll crawl into his lap and fall asleep.  These are both less than ideal situations, so nap time and bed time both fall to me still.  But, the lack of pre-bed time assistance takes its toll on me.  Getting crawled on all day makes getting crawled on in bed at night far less cute and far more irritating.  Tonight did go a bit better than last night, though.  She was in bed and asleep before 10:00, so I'm calling it a win.