Shrinking Women

A couple days ago I was reading The Bloggess and she linked to this post on Momastery.  I actually watched the video (the one posted above), which is a bit rare for me. I tend not to watch the videos people post, but this one I did.  You should watch it, too.

I posted it on Facebook, hoping that it would spark some conversation.  One person liked the post and one of my uncles commented, and that was it.  I was a bit disappointed that more of my female friends didn't say anything, particularly the more feminist leaning ones.

I think the point here is important and timely.  The ways in which we as women feed ourselves and treat our bodies profoundly affects our daughters.  Our obsession with dieting and weight loss teaches our daughters to shrink, to absorb, to make space around them, and to apologize for any space they take up, especially if that space is any more than another girl or woman occupies.  This not only affects their eating habits, but their relationships with themselves and everyone around them.  This reinforces the holdover belief that women are inherently less valuable, less worthy, and only valued for their appearance.

Is this the message we want to send and reinforce with our daughters?  I don't. It is this message that leads to disordered eating, disordered thinking, pregnant women who feel guilty for gaining weight, and breastfeeding women who think they should be able to survive on 1500 calories per day.  Do you realize that the weight gain recommendations really only take into account the extra weight from the baby, the placenta, the amniotic fluid, and the additional blood volume?  It doesn't account for the additional fat stores that women's bodies are designed to lay down in pregnancy to prepare for breastfeeding. Did you know that a toddler is supposed to consume a minimum of 1300 calories per day?  It seems to me that a full grown adult woman who just grew another person inside her body and is now nourishing that person with milk produced by her body needs more food than a 1 year old.

As a contrast, I am weight stable and have been for about a year (prior to that I was still experiencing postpartum weight loss) and I consume at least 3000 calories per day.  I am still breastfeeding a few times per day, and that is the amount it takes for me to not feel hungry.  Either, breastfeeding uses a lot more than 500 calories per day (the usual amount cited), or I have a high metabolism.  While I have been working to improve my metabolic function for the last several months and have been seeing improvements, I can guarantee that my metabolism is average at best.  I don't think any adult should restrict themselves to 1500 calories per day.  Even if you're trying to lose weight, that is just not enough fuel for an adult body.  You might lose weight quickly at first, but you will also cause your metabolism to significantly down regulate, which will cause a whole host of other problems.

I wish that we were not so culturally obsessed with weight loss to the exclusion of all other pursuits.  I wish that this video would have been in my Facebook feed multiple times over.  Holly McNish's video of her performing her poem Embarrassed was all over my news feed for days.  It's an awesome poem and an important issue, and I'm glad she had such a profound impact on so many.  I think this poem deserves equal exposure.  This issue is more pervasive, more insidious, and lifelong.

Women, do not shrink yourselves as though you are unworthy of taking up space.  Fill up your space.  Fill it with laughter and joy and compassion and love.