Thoughts On Moving

Well, I'm sitting in my living room and it sounds like there is a washing machine strapped to the ceiling of the apartment below mine. A washing machine with an unbalanced load. I think it might actually be the ceiling fan, because when I was going up the stairs the door to the apartment below had a wet paint sign on it. The ceiling fan might help speed the drying process. Nevertheless, it's a bit annoying and the TV doesn't really drown it out. I'm comforted by two things: a) I can't hear it in the bedroom, therefore it won't prevent me from going to sleep, and b) I'm leaving in 9 days and won't have to deal with any emanations from dwellings below mine, as none shall exist. Since we are rapidly approaching the big Day, I've been thinking more about moving, and comparing this move with the last one. For one thing, I'm way more excited about moving back to Coeur d'Alene than I was about moving here. It seems kind of strange to me for this to be the case. When I wasn't accepted into graduate school for this fall we considered moving back there, but I didn't really want to because I was afraid I'd feel like a failure. I already felt like a failure and that seemed like it would just be admitting defeat and taking two giant steps backwards. It no longer feels like that. Also, when I left Abilene I was sad. I had friends in Abilene. Granted, most of them had moved away already because they had graduated, but I still had a few people that I did stuff with. Also, I enjoyed what I was doing for that semester that I wasn't in school. I got to teach private lessons and I helped out at two school orchestra programs. I was actually doing something I had studied to do. Now? Not so much. Leaving here isn't very sad. I know two other people in the entire city that I might actually ever do anything with, but we don't see each other ever, and, though we've known each other forever, it's always been an effortless friendship. We didn't have to try to see each other, we just did in the course of our normal lives. Now, here, we have to try and neither of us do so. That's kind of sad, I guess, but it happens. Other than that, I'm not leaving anyone behind here that I might actually miss. I don't like my job, and haven't for a while. Instead, I'm going back to where I have friends. I have family. I have people that currently miss me, and whom I also miss, and I am incredibly excited to be able to see them again. I will get to see my dad on his birthday. That hasn't happened since 2001. I will get to see my mother-in-law on her birthday, which has never happened. We can throw Michael a birthday party this year, and actually invite friends. It'll be so nice.